And That's When My Hormones Attacked
by magic cheese
Summary: Her best friend's name is October, she has a demented older sister, and this year, she's crushing on a certain Marauder. Tune in to read all about Lily Evans!
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

I was floating. Floating happily on a sparkling pink cloud, soaring through the fresh air. Around me, the faces of some of my friends and family appeared, talking to me. Sirius told me my hair was very shiny today. Sophia complimented me on my socks, which was a bit odd, I admit. James approached me and was about to say something I was sure would be very lovely, when all of the sudden, Professor McGonagall's head came out of nowhere. It was unwelcome.

"You didn't finish you homework!" she wailed in her thick Scottish brogue. Her head was getting closer and closer, and I was almost certain she would bite me. Hard.

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

My hand slapped my annoying alarm clock several times. It wouldn't stop beeping. Stupid alarm clock. Irritated, I flung it across the room, where I heard it hit the wall, approximately four and half seconds later.

After lying in bed for a few more minutes, I decided to get up. Today was going to be a busy day. Toby was going to come over later this afternoon, and I still had to clean my room and go with Mom to buy some new sheets for her to sleep on. Thanks to Petunia, the other ones have urine spots on them, slightly faded by the mystical powers of the washing machine, but still coloured enough to freak out anyone who was not a member of my immediate family.

"I need another alarm clock," I announced, walking into the brightly lit kitchen. Bloody hell, it was bright in there. It looked like noon.

"Mum!" we heard a certain horse-faced seventeen year old cry from the upstairs bathroom.

"Mu-_um_!" Petunia cried again, after we failed to acknowledge her distress. I heard her thumping down the stairs. She was running.

"I don't have any more shampoo!" she yelled at this particularly bright kitchen. "I told you last night to buy me some more!"

"I was at the market last night, dear. You should have gone with me." Mum said calmly. How is it that she manages to stay calm and collected for Petunia, but with me she always loses her temper? It's abuse, I tell you.

"I had a weird dream last night." I stated to no one in particular.

"Mum, I couldn't go with you! I was painting my nails, for Christ's sake!" replied Petunia harshly.

"I thought you were Agnostic." I questioned her.

"Shut up, Lily! I'm having a crisis here. My date with Vernon is tonight, and I must have clean hair!"

I rolled my eyes and opened the fridge door. Nothing looked appealing this morning. I grabbed the bottle of orange juice and shook it around. It was almost empty. I closed the fridge door and took off the lid and drank it. It was pulpy, just the way I like it.

I started back up the wooden stairs, listening to the rest of Petunia's rant. She did have a temper, that one. And they said I was the crazy one!

As soon as I entered my messy room, I turned on my old red radio. It used to be Petunia's. She was very rock and roll for the longest time. But then she met Vernon and his little posse. Clean, crisp, and polite was what they molded her to become. She's no fun anymore, but what can I do about it? She won't listen to anyone, even Mum and Dad got worried. But I guess if she doesn't want to be my cool big sister anymore, she doesn't have to be.

Unfortunately, she still is my big sister. Meaning that I have to put up with her for about nine weeks during summer holidays. Not to mention the rest of my family. Don't get me wrong, I love them all, but we're not exactly the most conventional family. My paternal grandfather has recently remarried for the sixth time in his life. None of Grandpa Jeremy's marriages last for longer than five years, except for Susanne, my dead grandma, which was for about fifteen years. Meanwhile, my other grandpa, Richard, is off on a safari in North Africa, and hasn't stopped by to visit for three years. It kills Mum. And Mum's mum, Maria, is also dead. I also have various drunken cousins, an aunt who lives alone with her seventeen cats, an uncle who has eight missing fingers, and my parents, of course, seem to favor Petunia over me. Oh yeah, and the aunt with the seventeen cats is my namesake. Great choice, male parental unit.

I picked up my broken pink alarm clock. The glass was smashed. I turned it over to see if it would still do it's duty.

"Stupid alarm clock," I murmured, chucking it into my trash can.

"Lily!" I heard my female parental unit's voice call from downstairs. "You're friend is here!"

I strided over to my window, pulled back the shimmery blue curtains, and peered outside. There was a white car pulled up in my driveway.

I raced downstairs.

"Is your room clean?" asked my mother, holding a wooden spoon in her hand. I nodded and opened the front door.

"Oh, please shut up! I am having an emergency!" screeched Petunia, from the living room couch, as soon as she heard the loud squeals that emitted from Toby's and my mouth. I ran up to hug her.

"Get a room." Petunia asked, walking past the front door to get to the kitchen.

"Why are you against lesbianism?" I joked. Then I noticed her father, who was standing in the back.

"Come on in, Mr. Wallace," I invited graciously, or at least I thought it was gracious.

"Mum! Toby's father is here!" I hollered loudly. Mum arrived shortly after, in an apron. I bet she was trying to look like the non abusive, wonderful housewife that she isn't. Haha.

"Hello, Mitchum," she said, hugging him friendly and giving him a kiss on each cheek. "How's Lucinda?"

"Ah, Cindy's great. She just got promoted two weeks ago."

Mitchum and Lucinda, Toby's parents, were divorced, but that didn't stop them from being best friends. I thought that was pretty cool.

"Hello, October," greeted Mum. Toby grimaced and said hello back. She hates being called October, even though that's her name. October Raine Wallace. Pretty sad, huh? Her parents named her after the month and weather conditions she was born under.

Toby and I said goodbye to her dad, who gave her some extra money in case he didn't get to see her before September first. Then we marched back up to my room.

"Didn't finish cleaning, huh?" she asked when we entered.

"Nope."

"You _have_ to ask your mum not to call me October. I can't stand that name," explained Toby.

"I _know_. My mum just likes formalities, I guess. Hey, at least she isn't calling you October Raine or Ms. Wallace."

We just sat there in silence for a while. I don't know what she was thinking of, but I was thinking of what we could possibly do to amuse ourselves for these two days we'd be at home. And if Mum would mind buying me a new alarm clock without me having to go with her.

"Eurgh...is that...was that a peach?" asked Toby in disgust, holding up a rotting, fuzzy orange sphere, attached to a sock.

"I guess."

"When was the last time you cleaned up this place?"

"Um...last summer?"

"We have some work to do."

The good thing about having a best friend who's a complete neat freak, is that they don't always mind cleaning your room for you. The bad thing is that they can't stop obsessing over it until it's actually done, which can drive any girl into a raving lunatic. No lie.

**A/N** Okay, so I know that I'm a huge hypocrite and all for starting new story, but I've been toying with this one for quite a while, and I think I have enough ideas to last at least seven chapters. If I don't update for quite a while, then please pray for me. That'll mean that my mother received my report card in the mail before I had time to snatch it away from the mail man. And after receiving three fails (eek!), I don't think she will be thrilled.

Please review this story. It really does mean a lot when people review. I read every single one of them, and I pay very close attention to what constructive criticism people give me, and I try to work accordingly. And also, don't forget to pray or wish or whatever!

Also, if anyone knows how to make that thin gray line appear on the page, to separate different story parts, please tell me how to do it! I hate using zeros or dashes. Anyways, have a fun day and don't forget to review!

-Jules


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Wow, less than twenty four hours after I posted the story, I got four reviews on it! That's amazing. I was really pleased because right now I hate my mom because she made me bake three cakes and go to my brother's school bake sale/picnic, where I knew no one. I was bored out of my mind and these sluttish little twelve year olds in short skirts were giving me dirty looks...Anyways, this really did make me feel better, but I still do kinda hate my mom. Thanks, everybody!

**Ficcieboy-** I like your screenname, that's another word I have to add to my Word dictionary. Sorry I didn't mention that! I just thought it would be weird for Lily to think "I'm a witch". But of course, you all know that she is, indeed, a witch, and a spanking good one at that. October is an odd name for a girl, so is the nickname Toby, but I wanted Lily's friend's name to be unusual. And I couldn't find another nickname for her. I couldn't very well call her "Ocky" or "Ber". Yech. Thank you so much for your constructive criticism and your compliments! I'm happy you're happy with the story.

**Penelope Richmond- **Thanks! I like Marauder stories, too. Toby does seem cool, huh? Who doesn't want a best friend who'll clean your room for you? I didn't want to make Lily a Mary Sue, like she is in a lot of fics. We don't know much about her, but we do know that she was very beautiful and very talented, but I didn't want to make her perfect. She needs to be human. You don't have to stop reviewing! I like long reviews. I'll take your advice! Thanks for reviewing!

**Galleena-** Yup! I am going to try and beat my record. I think I have ADHD or something. I like to start things, but never finish. I hope this will be different. The only way you can prevent me from quitting is by reviewing!

**Cosmopolitan-** Nice screenname. I'm glad you love it, and I will update ASAP. Thanks for reviewing!

**October Tuscany- **Wow, is that your real name? Lol, I don't think I know anyone named October or Tria. How did you get Tria from October? That's so weird that you and my character have the same first name and are neat freaks. I'll hopefully talk to you later, too! Thanks for reviewing!

**Chapter Two**

"And the Gryffindor fifth year prefects for this term are Ms. October Wallace and Mr. Remus Lupin!" announced Professor Dumbledore, rising out of his golden chair, clapping. The Gryffindor table was wild with cheering. I was yelling at the top of my lungs for Toby. I was proud of her, I really was. I knew she wanted to be a prefect since second year, and all that studying and good behavior paid off. I felt a slight twinge of jealousy, though. I was a tiny bit afraid that she might not have enough time for us anymore. Okay, it was more than a tiny bit. She showed me the letter Professor McGonagall sent her this summer, detailing the various duties that would be entailed with becoming a prefect and it was a lot.

But nonetheless, I was ecstatic for her. I watched as she looked around the Great Hall, blushing. Her curly brown hair was pulled back into a neat ponytail. Wow, she was really blushing a lot. I reached under the table and squeezed her hand firmly.

After the Welcoming Feast was over, I instinctively grabbed Toby's arm and marched out of the Great Hall.

"Lil, I need to go with Remus and get the first years," she explained after turning the opposite way.

"Oh. Right. Okay, then. I guess I'll see you later, then." I said, giving her a weak smile. I was crestfallen, and I didn't understand. She was still my best friend, wasn't she? But she had her prefect duties. See?

Gloomily, I walked back to Gryffindor Tower. I could hear James Potter, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew behind me, laughing. This made me even more depressed. Sure, they wouldn't have Remus as much anymore, but at least they each had two other friends always. I had no one when Toby was gone. It was kind of my fault, really. After meeting Toby, and deciding that we would be best friends forever and ever, I didn't bother to make any new friends. I had some acquaintances with a few Ravenclaw girls in my year; Sophia, Jasmine and Cassandra. I guess I'd have to make do with them.

When I got up to the common room, I was so exhausted after the whole day and the train ride and all, that I went up to bed and fell asleep.

"Hey. You were asleep when I got back up," said Toby, pulling into the seat next to me then next morning.

"Yeah. I was tired," I said, yawning and grabbing a fluffy muffin to eat.

"Well, I didn't get back up _that_ much later. I thought you'd wait up for me."

"Why, did you _want_ me too?" I snapped back.

"No, it doesn't matter. What's wrong with you today? Are you menstrual?" she asked, looking concerned. I sighed.

"No. I'm just tired, is all. So, when do you start your duties?" I asked, genuinely interested.

"Tomorrow night, eight o'clock. Stop playing with your food!" she scolded at me for picking at the edges.

"Yes, Mother." I scowled. She rolled her eyes.

"So, what classes do we have today?" I asked her.

Toby looked at the neat weekly chart lying in front of her.

"First, Transfiguration. Next, Divination. Then, Charms, and finally, I have Ancient Runes and you have Care of Magical Creatures." she stated briefly.

"Aw, we have a different class for the first time in our lives!" I said, mocking heartbreak. She protruded her lower lip and started fake sniffling. We burst out into fake sobs and hugged each other. It was our little bit.

"Good morning, lesbians." said James Potter, taking the seat across from me.

"Don't start with the lesbian rumours again!" Toby moaned. Every year, some idiot always started silly lies about how Toby and I were secret lesbian lovers. It was annoying, because the Slytherins gave us even dirtier looks than ever and people teased.

"If you two really are lesbians, can I watch you two snog?" asked Sirius. I made a disgusting face at him.

"Pig," I called him. He just shrugged his shoulders like he didn't care. Of course, he didn't. He's been called 'pig' so many times now, he must be used to it.

"Where's Remus?" asked Toby, probably anticipating talking to a fellow prefect.

"He's shining his badge, the barmy prat." informed Peter, rolling his eyes.

"Hey, Quidditch tryouts are on Thursday," said James, playing with his messy, long, jet-black hair. "I wish you were allowed to play, Padfoot."

"Yeah, me too. Sodding McGonagall thinks I'm some demented criminal just because I burned down one bathroom stall."

The expression on Toby's face was one of shock and offense. She sucked up to all of the professors so she would get good grades and get a good job when we graduated. She always feigned offense whenever someone insulted a teacher.

"I could always try out for Quidditch," said Peter, looking hopefully at James. James and Sirius burst out laughing. Poor Peter.

"Peter, you're bloody hilarious," chuckled James. Peter looked sort of sad.

"You can always try out for the Gobstones Club again, Peter." I encouraged, trying to cheer him up.

"Yeah, I guess I can. I just hope we can recruit some new members this year. It gets boring when you know everyone, and who plays good and who doesn't." Peter said.

Then the bell rang. It warned us that we had ten minutes to get to our first class. After Toby drained down her glass of milk, she and I got up and headed out of the Great Hall. The Transfiguration classroom was on the first floor, so we didn't have to rush, and we wouldn't be red and puffy from climbing stairs.

"Eurgh, how can you drink milk?" I asked Toby, when we walked into Professor McGonagall's class six minutes early.

"I like it. And it has calcium, and that's good, right?"

I shrugged my shoulders and we scrambled around, trying to find a seat. We settled with one near the large glass window, so we'd have a great view of the Quidditch players stretching and practicing during the season.

"Good morning, students," began Professor McGonagall when everyone had settled down. "Welcome to a new term, and your fifth year of Transfiguration. I'd like to start off by repeating that I will not allow any tomfoolery or ridiculous behavior in my classrooms. Some of you are familiar with this rule," she looked pointedly at James, Sirius, Remus and Peter. "As you also know, you are to be taking your O.W.L's near the end of term, sometime in May. We have a lot of important things to cover till then, so please pay extra careful attention to your lessons this year. You are fifteen, and I expect you to behave as such young adults."

We should behave like fifteen year olds? Has she never been a teenager? She should have revised her speech this summer. At that point, I used my years of knowledge and skill, and tuned her out. If there was anything important to remember, Toby would fill me in for sure.

**A/N **So I decided to end there because otherwise it would be a super extra long chapter, and it wouldn't be updated for a long time. Thanks again to everyone who reviewed! Remember, you don't need to have a membership to this website to review. Just leave me an anonymous one.

I hope all of you liked this chapter, even though it was pretty uneventful. But I thought that you should get to know Lily and what her average day is like. I'm afraid there will be a lot of chapters like this, so please don't complain. This story has a plot, somewhat. So review this story and have a magnanimous day!

-Jules

P.S. I don't hate my mom any longer. ;)


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